Let these folks take advantage of your vulnerability! Read This
10 Parking Garages that Taught Me Existential Dread
Conor tackles the second truly serious philosophical problem.Read This
Fenner’s Corner: Citizen Kane
What are you really getting at, Orson?Read This
Bob Dylan: Nobel-worthy folk hero, or illusion of consciousness?
Does Bob Dylan deserve the Nobel Prize in Literature? Does he even want it? Does it even exist?Read This
Trump: I welcome immigrants, extinction of the human race
In his first robust policy speech of the cycle, Donald Trump revealed a previously secret plan for getting rid of illegal immigrants–along with every other inhabitant of the American continent.Read This
French sect announces support for state ban on ‘ostentatious’ swimwear
NICE, France—The leaders of the Nice chapter of the Disciples of Secularis say that the burkini, swimwear designed to satisfy Islamic modesty standards, threatens the natural secular order instituted by the god Secularis when he created the universe through a combination of blind chance and evolutionary processes. Grand Secular Jean-Jacques Russo spoke at a press […]Read This
Bob Dylan: Folk Hero or Murderer?
Point: Bob Dylan reinvented folk music Conor Fellin “People sometimes like to congratulate me on reinventing folk music,” Bob Dylan once famously said in an interview with Rolling Stone. “That’s when I like to knock their cup out of their hands, and while they’re distracted run away screaming, ‘YOU DON’T KNOW ME UNLESS I SAY […]Read This
Solipsists Anonymous 
Welcome to Solipsists Anonymous. Let’s go around the room and introduce myself.
Will: I can’t bring myself to use Tinder. All the people I’ve had romantic attachments with, I met organically.
Kyle: Tinder can be organic. You just have to meet at vegan restaurants.