69 Love Songs Is Like a Triple Album

69 Love Songs by the Magnetic Fields is a magnum opus of pop if there ever was one. Delivering no fewer than the promised 69 songs, the album serves as a veritable encyclopedia of pop music and of the relationships contained therein. Its three-hour runtime can make it a daunting listen, so Conor and Will […]Read This

French sect announces support for state ban on ‘ostentatious’ swimwear

NICE, France—The leaders of the Nice chapter of the Disciples of Secularis say that the burkini, swimwear designed to satisfy Islamic modesty standards, threatens the natural secular order instituted by the god Secularis when he created the universe through a combination of blind chance and evolutionary processes. Grand Secular Jean-Jacques Russo spoke at a press […]Read This

The Divine Metaphor

Eight weeks ago, I fell for a woman in my hometown with whom I have religious differences. She’s a Christian with an evangelical background. I’m an agnostic atheist [1] with a history of aggressive anti-theism. We’ve spent weeks going back and forth about the wisdom of interfaith relationships, now trying to parse this verse or […]Read This

The Hot Take: Innocence Reaches, of Montreal

Innocence Reaches
The below review was written by Will Boogert and Conor Fellin as they listened to of Montreal’s Innocence Reaches for the first time. They started writing when the album began, and stopped typing when the album ended. Except for grammar, the review has not been changed since that moment. “Let’s Relate” Conor: Not sure how […]Read This

Rail Gaze CD Club: Hearts and Bones, Paul Simon

Hearts and Bones is an easy album to overlook. Coming before it were four solo albums that sold better than it and had the hit singles it lacked. Coming after it was Graceland, which would justly receive universal recognition as Simon’s best album. And yet it’s Hearts and Bones that I find myself coming back […]Read This

Breaking Down Breakmaster Cylinder

Breakmaster Cylinder
I just don’t wanna be out there. I don’t matter. It’s nice to be any / every / nobody. –Breakmaster Cylinder, in an interview with Exolymph Conor and Will are sitting at a pair of microphones in a mid-budget recording studio, recording their commentary on Reply All. Conor: There you have it: the whole animal […]Read This